So there I am, back in hospital. I've been given the medical third degree and my boob has been prodded and drawn on, and the Doctor says the large lump inside it is "indurated". I think he says "injurated". 'What's that?' I ask, feeling a bit stupid. He explains that it means that the tissue is inflamed and hard. "Why use a fancy word when you can use a simple one?", I want to ask. But then he's still prodding my breast so I keep my thoughts to myself.
He sends me for another ultrasound. And lo and behold, there's another collection of fluid in there. An abscess. Before I know it, there's a surgeon standing over my bed, explaining that they're going to have to do surgery to drain the abscess, probably that night. I sign the consent forms. "Nice pen", I comment blithely, as if I sign consents to have my boobs cut open every day.
I get sent to a ward this time, a private room, complete with cage for Milkbaby and Lazy Boy lounger in the corner for the DH, who is being allowed to stay over to look after Milkbaby while I'm in surgery. Milkbaby goes straight off to sleep, the DH curls up on the lounger in a romantic embrace with his iphone, and I try not to think about food.
|Toast: not to be eaten quietly.|
|"Honey, you won't feel like lunch once |
we're finished with you."
|"Sure, why not?"|
They ask if I'd like some pain relief, and when I say yes, proceed to give me three doses of morphine. Three hours and three types of anti-nausea medication later, I'm seriously regretting the morphine, not to mention the surgery. Lunch has long been taken away, and dinner is rapidly cooling on my side-table. An officious nurse comes in and opens the curtains, and makes me get out of bed to pee, saying I'll feel better if I get up. I don't want to admit it, but she was right. She brings me dry toast, which I eat slowly and carefully, followed by dinner.
I bring myself to look down my gown. The boob's still there. Only there's a massive bandage covering it. I'm wondering how I'm going to breastfeed with that thing there. Then I realise the giant bandage is probably the least of my worries...