The best contraception

At one of my last midwife visits, she raised the whole contraception thing, reminding me that while breastfeeding does provide some protection, it is possible to get pregnant before you get your period back.  I smiled politely at her and said I'd read the brochure.  Inside I was screaming "ARE YOU KIDDING?!!! I'M NEVER HAVING SEX AGAIN!!!"  I agreed to let her prescribe me some condoms.