This little ditty is a few weeks old now. As soon as I'd thought "well hello Mastitis my old friend" I couldn't get this damn song out of my fever dreams, complete with those ageing ex-folkies gently crooning it in my ear. At one point I was pretty sure Paul Simon had also invited Ladysmith Black Mambazo along for the ride, my head was pounding that badly. Anyway, the song sort of works, though it gets a bit weird around the third verse.
The Sounds of Mastitis
Hello Mastitis, my old friend
You've come to make me sick again
There's a redness softly creeping
Over my breast while I was sleeping
And the fever that was planted
in my brain
Within the sound of mastitis
|"It's all happening at the zoo." [photo source]|
To After Hours I went alone
Narrow streets of cobblestone
'Neath the halo of a medical lamp
Doc felt my breast it was hot and damp
When my eyes were stabbed by the flash of that neon light
He called it a blight
And touched the sounds of mastitis
And in the Doctor's eyes I saw
Ten thousand mothers, maybe more
Doctors talking without speaking
Doctors hearing without listening
Doctors writing scripts than voices never shared
And no one cared
For the sound of mastitis
"Fools" said I "you do not know
Mastitis like a cancer grows
Hear my words that I might teach you
Take my arms that I might reach you"
But my words, like silent raindrops fell
In the wells of mastitis
And the doctors bowed and prayed
To the penicillin god they made
And the sign flashed out its warning
In the words that it was forming
And the sign said
"The future use of antibiotics is written on the wall
of museum halls"
And whispered in the sounds of mastitis...
Thanks antibiotics, all better now. And Mastitis, I'm singing a different tune now. It goes: I am a rock, I am an island... I have no need for (your) friendship, (your) friendship causes pain...
Here's the tune, from happier times in the Simon & Garfunkel partnership.